


The moment of calm in the chaos

by Gnomecat



Category: Homeland
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-22 22:58:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10706925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gnomecat/pseuds/Gnomecat
Summary: It didn't happen. It didn't happen. It didn't happen. He didn't die.





	The moment of calm in the chaos

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this before I watched 6.12. Not sure I could have written it afterwards. This is the sort of thing I hoped would happen. Sigh. :-(
> 
> Thanks to all the brilliant people on LiveJournal who have been great company throughout the rollercoaster ride that was S6 and for cheering me up with talk of cyborgs and preserved heads in jars in the past week.

Chaos. Sirens wailing. People everywhere. Emergency personnel on one side of the police cordon and curious bystanders on the other. The danger and panic instantly forgotten and replaced by curiosity. The morbid desire to get a photo of the destruction to show to their friends. To have an ‘I was there when….’ memento.

Carrie surveyed the scene from the back of the ambulance as the medic treated her head wound. Her eyes scanned the crowd, looking for a familiar face.

“Do you know what hospital Peter Quinn was sent to?”

The medic snapped off his gloves and took a step back. “I’m sorry. Who’s that?”

Carrie frowned. “Peter Quinn. He was driving the car.” 

Another medic spoke up. “I checked him over. I told him he needed to go to hospital but he refused treatment and walked away.”

Carrie jumped to her feet. “And you didn’t stop him? What the fuck? When did this happen?”

The medic held his hands up and backed away. “Calm down please, I tried my best. It was a few minutes ago. He went that way.”

“Fuck’s sake.”

She jumped out of the ambulance and started walking, but stopped almost immediately when she saw the car. Actually froze in place. It was riddled with bullets and the windscreen was almost caved in. The shock hit her immediately as she realised for the first time what could have happened. What if the distance had been longer? What if the bulletproof glass hadn’t held up? What if Quinn had died? The world began to spin before her eyes and she put her hand against one of the parked cars for support. 

Images flashed in her brain, not just from today, but of things that had happened before. She closed her eyes. Tried to push the thoughts away and focus on the one important thing. It didn’t happen. It didn’t happen. It didn’t happen. He was alive. He had saved her again. She needed to find him. He shouldn’t have even been here. She had dragged him into this situation again and she needed to stop doing this. Take a break. Head to the hills. Find somewhere to live where danger wasn’t around every corner.

She kept moving, anxiety growing with every step. He could be anywhere by now. 

She couldn’t believe it when she actually spotted him. A little way down a side street and away from the crowds. He was leaning against a car but stood up when he saw her. Fear turned to relief in an instant and without hesitation she rushed forward and threw her arms around him. She felt him wince and take a small step back away from her.

She continued to hold on to him for a few seconds before she stepped back too and looked him up and down. Dirty. Dishevelled. Bleeding. Blood everywhere. But alive.

“Quinn, that shoulder looks bad. You need to see a doctor.”

He just stared at her. Cold eyes. No hint of emotion. “I’m fine. It’s just a scratch.”

“No, it’s bleeding a lot. You’re a mess.”

“You don’t look so hot yourself. I’m fine. You should get back to the scene.”

“I’m serious. That’s a lot of blood. That cut on your neck looks deep too- you’ll have a scar.”

“I’ll wear a scarf.” It wasn’t a joke. Just a statement.

He wasn’t even looking at her. He was looking at the ground. Carrie shook her head. The relief at seeing him now evaporated and replaced by frustration. His demeanour was confusing her. What was he doing here hiding in the alleyway?

“Go away. I mean it. Leave me alone!” 

Carrie jumped back in shock as he suddenly pushed past her and walked further down the road away from her. In an instant she realised something. “You’re leaving aren’t you?”

He stopped and turned. Stared at her for a second and then patted his pocket. “Passport. Ready to go.”

“You weren’t going to say anything to me?”

“Nope.”

“What the fuck Quinn? After everything I’ve done for you, put you up in my home, you were just going to leave without saying a word? How did you think I would feel about that?” The words spilled out before she realised what she was saying and she tried to correct it instantly. “Wait. No. I didn’t mean…”

He interrupted her. “No I think you did and I’ve said it before Carrie. It’s not all about you.”

“I’m sorry...” The words made it out before she began to cry. Huge gulping sobs. Crying for everything. For that day. For Franny. For Quinn. For what happened to him. For missed chances. Everything rushed to the surface. All the tears she had held back and refused to cry since Berlin. Walls broken. She sat down on the kerbside, head in hands.

For a moment he just stood watching her. But then she felt a small bump on her shoulder as he sat down next to her. Silence. Then: “Shit Carrie. Don’t cry.”

She took a breath and waited a few moments before she felt composed enough to speak again. “Quinn, I don’t know what to say to you. I don’t know where to start.”

“You don’t need to say or do anything. Just let me go.”

That did it. Hearing those words again. Anger flared. She stood up. Hands on hips. Speaking fast. 

“I’m sorry. I really am. I regret what happened in Berlin every day. If I could turn back time I would. I fucking would in an instant. Of course I feel guilty. But if you think that that is the only reason I have taken care of you then you are wrong. I care about you. I have for a long time. In this fucked up world sometimes I feel you are the only one who understands me. The only one who gets it. You have been there for me so many times and now I want to be here for you. I want to help you. Let me help you.”

The words tumbled out and she paused to take a breath. He was still sat there on the floor. Looking down. “Fuck!” She ran her hand through her hair. Suddenly felt exposed. All those thoughts, everything that she had been trying so hard not to think, had just been revealed all at once. To him and to her. 

He still wasn’t looking at her. “Fuck Quinn. I know I’ve fucked up. I know everything is fucked up. But we could just….just….please don’t leave.” 

No response. She turned away and looked back to the street. Wanted to run back to the chaos and let it envelop her.

She didn’t hear him get up, but felt his hand touch her shoulder. She turned and walked into his arms. This time she felt his arms tighten around her. They stood there for a long while, just holding each other.

“Okay. I’ll stay” The words were just a whisper, but she definitely heard them. 

“Good. I’m glad.” She whispered back. She began to move her hands, tracing his spine, and felt his hand move too, tentatively up and down her back. She waited for the panic to take hold of her like it did before. But it didn’t come. Instead she felt calm. Relief. Hope? It was ridiculous really. Here they were. In a tiny side street, both bleeding, shaken, probably in shock, metres away from destruction, and she just wanted to smile. Was this the right time? Was there ever a right time? They already had one missed chance. So many regrets. Should she grab this one? Did she want to?

She pulled back and looked him in the eyes. Touched his face. He looked back at her and she read his expression. A mixture of hopeful and scared. In an instant she knew the answer. Made a decision. No words needed. She just leaned in and kissed him. Started tentatively, sweet, but grew in passion. Hands moved about. Tangled in hair, touching the face, up and down each other’s backs. It continued for a while, neither of them wanting to break the moment, until a siren from the street wailed and broke the magic. Bringing them back to reality. Silence again. 

Carrie didn’t trust herself to say anything. Was worried she would say the wrong thing. There were things they needed to talk about, difficult topics, but it wasn’t the time for that now. Now was just the beginning. She took a step backwards and extended her hand back to him.

“Come on. Let’s get out of here. I’ve got a first aid kit and some cookies back home.”

Quinn hesitated. He seemed to be deciding on words too before also settling on silence. He took her hand. “Home. Let’s go.”


End file.
